Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Favorites from Let.It.Go. Part 1

Have you ever had the feeling of being utterly out of control? Better yet, can you think back to a time when you know you were, yet see how God took care of every last detail? As women, we crave control. Being in charge energizes us, so we think...

"Being able to multitask, to craft duties and delegate tasks, is beneficial on many fronts. The problem  lies with our failure to know where to draw the line, to differentiate between leading and bossing, to know the difference between simply taking charge and ultimately taking over." Many would look at these as strengths, however, "if carried to extreme and left unchecked, our strengths can often morph into wretched weaknesses. "

So often we fret, worry and waste time trying to fix (control) situations in which we have no business being in anyway...I know I do this for sure :/We believe in a false notion that it will actually work.

While we are multitasking it only seems natural to call all the shots as well. What we need to remember is we are NOT the boss, God is. He is the ONE that is in control, regardless of what we think, so let Him be! "We must determine the difference between being conscientious (our part) and being in control (God's job).

A funny story (now) about multitasking...Several months ago I was at work and filing documents. I was about to a file something I had not filed before and specifically asked how they usually do it, they told me, and in the auto-pilot mode I was in I did it the "normal" way, not the "special" way I was told...I'm pretty sure I groaned or made a fuss and my boss walked over and said, "What's the problem?" I said, "MULTITASKING at it's worst!" ugh...I was so frustrated I made such a stupid mistake, right after asking!! Luckily my boss was forgiving and

Controlling is tiring! "Because of sin, we're wired to control everything ourselves. And it will take a Great Electrician to sort through our tangled mess of selfish motives and actions and attitudes and transform them into one smooth, humming connection to our Father." We need to learn to control what we should and trust God with what we can't.

Technology, opportunities and choices have cluttered our lives. Instead of life being simpler with all of these luxuries it has actually caused more stress and time away from what truly matters. The more opportunities there are the more we feel we need to control.

We would be much better off if we were intentional about spending time with God and when faced with a choice ask, "Will this glorify God?" When we think we know better than God, the results are never good!

In hard times when you are desperately trying to control the outcome, the best thing to do is cultivate acceptance and learn not to ask "Why me?" but rather "What am I supposed to learn at this junction of life that will make me a better person and draw me closer to God? When we willingly accept our lot in life, welcoming all that God is trying to teach us through it, we lose the drive to over-control, to micromanage in an all-out attempt to appear perfect and ensure everything in our lives is 'just so.'"

As we learn to rest, trust and accept our life becomes less about ourself and more about Jesus.

Romans 8:25 "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

This incredible book also touched on how women control their household...even their husbands. We don't think we are but we make every last decision in the house. Listen up peeps, get mad if you want, but God says, MEN are the head of the household...they should make the decisions. Please hear me clearly, I am not saying you don't have a say-so, but they do have the final. And some of our spouses are so used to you making all the calls they are timid to make any decision for the fear they may make the 'wrong' decision. We must relinquish our control and let our men do what God has called them to do. I know you hate the bad "S" word...submission. I recently heard a sermon that said it so well...submission is simply putting someone elses needs above your own...not so scary when you put it that way :)

When your circumstances are uncomfortable remember Hebrews 12:11
"No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

Now off submission...and husbands and on to "Micromanaging Instead of Mothering." The dictionary defines a micromanager as "someone who wants to control every part of a business or system in a way that is not necessary or useful." you're saying 'controlling' every aspect of my children, husband, life is not necessary or useful...sounds about right, actually.

Have you ever parented your child a particular way just based on who you were around? I know, not you, you have never done that...Oh wait, I have...a thought for the future: How will it affect your relationship with your child vs. the relationship with that other person? Which is more important? I don't ever want my kids to think I am going to treat them a certain way just so I can impress my friends...what message is that sending to my kids?? They may try and do the same thing, and junior high and high school years, I don't really want my kids acting a certain way just to "impress" their friends. As mothers we need to take advice prayerfully and carefully and make decisions moment by moment depending on the Lord's direction.

  1. Toddlers: Offer your kids choices to things that really don't matter
  2. Elementary: Teach your kids boundaries and consequences, be sure to tell them WHY
  3. Middle School: Allow your kids to set some of their own boundaries and the corresponding consequences for crossing the line
  4. High School: Treat your kids like young adults, not babies
  5. College: Remember that although your adult children will always be your children, they are now also full-fledged adults--fight the urge to step in and intervene
  6. During ALL stages point your children to your faith--show them with your attitudes and actions
"Teach. Train. But know when it's time to let go and trust."

To be continued...