Thursday, July 18, 2013

Change and Uncertainty…

This entire year has seemed to be full of change and uncertainty for me. I don’t know about you, but change is a real uncomfortable feeling for me. I go through many mental states and emotions when going through change: fear, frustration, out of control and the list goes on. What I know from past experiences is that God has a plan for me, a plan far better than I can expect or imagine and he wants me to trust Him (Jeremiah 29:11). With that hope and promise I began to pray back in February for clarity and peace about my work situation.

I am typically the person that does the exact opposite of what the Bible tells us to do and I worry and fret over every detail of my life. However, this time, it was different. Through my anxious thoughts, I felt an overwhelming peace I could not describe. Once I found out I was going to be laid off it was bittersweet. It was nice to finally have some clarity and direction where I could began being prayerful on what was to come.

I began praying fervently, knowing that God must have something better in store for me. I felt that His timing was perfect. See, I originally got my previous job so we could pay for Will to go to preschool, my job ended right when he was completing his final year—God provided.

Once I found out I would no longer be working for Michael I immediately got my resumes out to the surrounding school districts as I thought it would be wonderful to teach again. I went to all of the job fairs, even had interviews and they seemed to not go anywhere, nor did I seem excited about them. I applied for a speech position at Morton Ranch in Katy (April 19th). I went to the Katy job fair where I received an interview card, but they were busy interviewing for core subjects and said they would contact me. Uncertain if they really would contact me I stopped a lady in the hall (not know who she was) and asked her if she would be sure to give my resume to the principal. She said sure! (It was the associate principal). A little over a month went by and I emailed both of them a follow up email checking on the status of the position. The principal responded that it was in currently in a “holding pattern.” So, I went on with life unsure if they would ever contact me, continuing to be prayerful that God knew what he was doing.

In the meantime my previous boss was gracious enough to spread the word that I was available for hire to some of the other reputable advisors. One immediately called me and interviewed me. We discussed job duties, hours, etc. over the next several weeks we agreed upon flexible hours. She offered me a job, I countered. While I was waiting on her final offer I received a call from the principal of Morton Ranch asking if I was still interested in the position. I had promised myself in the beginning of all of this change that I would not pass up an opportunity, so I said yes.

After I got off the phone I started praying God would give me clarity. I was honestly not sure even if it were offered if I would take it over the financial opportunity. I prayed that if this was the position God wanted me to have that he would give me the overwhelming excitement and joy I had been looking for. (I had had several interviews and offers in the past couple of months and was not super excited about any of them).

That Monday afternoon I received my final offer from the financial opportunity. It was not quiet what I was hoping for. I felt like that was a moment where God was telling me it would be okay to do something else. Tuesday I went in for my interview. I’ll be honest, I did not think I did as well as I could or should…The principal and AP were just as lovely as could be, but I felt as though I didn’t sell myself well enough. Upon leaving I was informed I would be notified by Thursday if I were to receive the job.

I left excited about the position—the first time I was excited about any position I had applied for in the past few months…REALLY wanting to teach there!! I was so excited, yet nervous. In the midst I prayed fervently that I knew God had a plan, that I wanted to teach really, really bad…but ultimately God had a plan and if it wasn’t His to please comfort my heart and give me peace about it.

Wednesday came around and I told Daron I felt like I needed to sell myself again…he said don’t do it!! J What a wise man…so I continued to pray all day Wednesday. Thursday morning I woke up very early unable to sleep. I put on my workout clothes and went out for a walk. The entire time I prayed for peace, guidance and wisdom. I felt God tell me to fast until I had an answer…I have never truly done this, but it was so clear what he was telling me. I came home, laid face down on my bedroom floor praying that God would show me HIS WILL and regardless of the outcome I’d be okay! I felt I should email the principal just letting him know I knew he would be making a decision today, but that this was my passion…I love teens, I love communication…this is a gift God has given me and I would truly grateful to be afforded the opportunity. Within ten minutes I received a call from the principal. He said, “I get the feeling you really want this job?!” I laughed and said, “Yes, please?!” He said, “Well, since you said please, we would like to give it to you.” I was ecstatic!! My mama always told me using my manners would pay off!! J LOL! 

The only draw back was that the offer would not be official until they presented it to the board on July 15th, almost a month. I continued to pray all would work out, however, at times I did feel anxious something would not work out and I would be right back at square one. I received my official offer July 16th! Two months from the day I was let go….He provided!

God’s timing is never wrong. It may feel like it at times, but he has a plan. It is incredible for me to look back over the past several months and see His hand in it all! I am so blessed and thankful to have had this summer with my children and even more excited that I will get many more to come—God-willing.

I am super excited to be getting back in the saddle. I know that not everyday is going to be great and there will be challenges along the way, as with any career…but I am just so excited to have this opportunity.

Some scripture that has carried me through this year:

Philippians 4:6-7  
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:26-34
Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.