Wednesday, August 17, 2011

draining week

Man, it has just been a draining week. It started first thing Monday morning when my kids were extra clingy and begging me to stay home with them their last week of heart ached as I knew I must go to work and saddened that I felt like I was disappointing them. I sucked it up headed to work with tears welling up in my eyes. Arrived at work and took deep breaths and was ready to tackle my Monday.

Got in to the office and was doing my usual "stuff" then read my daily devotion from Devotions For Women on the Go The title was The Biggest Fear it talked about how public speaking is one of the #1 most common fears....if you know me well, this isn't so much the case for me. But it goes further into saying that speaking up is one fear that God's wants us to get over. It had several examples of how we can speak up and scripture for credibility. I had NO idea this would relate to my day...then got a call...won’t go into much detail other than I was treated very unfairly and very disrespected not once, not twice, but three times by 1:00pm. By this point I felt completely defeated...I'm a people pleaser and was just crushed that someone thought so ill of my character...As I was recovering from these multiple blows I had a voicemail from a lady I have been dealing with for Will's (old) mother's day...which once again I was not granted my wishes. For both of these women I just stated facts, was very kind (which typically I'm not great at when being attacked--which will bring me to today's devotion in a moment) but didn't speak up too much.

Yes, I am being very vague to protect the privacy of these people, even though I really don't want too...but the gist of it is, it was an absolutely terrible Monday...I felt defeated, sad, and honestly wanted to crawl in a hole and go to sleep and wake up Tuesday for a brand new day!!

Well, Tuesday was substantially better. My boss came in, cracked me up as she always does, went to lunch with a great friend, and overall had a really nice day.

Today has been okay, nothing that special...couple glitches that made me feel defeated, once I got caught up on my work I pulled out my devotional and read today's: Unusual Kindness basically it was saying that people notice when you are unusually kind. Typically I would say, yes, of course people notice....however, with my crappy week it made me think of Monday how in my opinion I was 'unusually kind' actually I would say more "supernaturally kind" there's no way I composed myself to be that kind on my own to the people that were just so nasty to me. However, I guess a couple days later for the sake of my reputation as well as my job, I'm glad I was tasteful. As the devotion said, "To be unusually kind--it pays big dividends!"

After I read today's I decided to take a look at yesterday's as I had not read it and the title of that one was State Your Case and the main point of this was that God wants us to argue our case before him. He wants you to contend for truth and understanding....I thought to myself wow, I have truly felt defeated all continued to say some things we need to keep in mind as we approach God:

-He is God. He is all-knowing. he sees the whole story. He sees all the details.
(I felt like this meant, Shawna, get over what has happened to don't need justice from these people, God's in the details and knows, He's the almighty Father, rest in peace knowing you were unusually kind)

-He is God. He is perfect, holy, and righteous. He does not make mistakes.

-He is God. He is all-powerful, and it is only because of his amazing mercy and patience that you live on the earth.

-He is God. He is sovereign. He has the ability to make all things work together for your good, even when things look pretty bad.
(Praise God...He's got my back!)

-He is God. You are not. He deserves respect and praise even if you don't feel like giving it.
(These women I have dealt with this week deserve my respect also....even though I did NOT feel like giving it)

This has been a trying week. I just need to continually remind myself when I feel so defeated as I have this week, I am here for a reason. I have purpose, I am favored and I am a child of the most high God!

Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. 2 Timothy 2:23-26

***Disclaimer—I would like to make it very clear and known that these people that I have allowed to ruin my week my because their lack of integrity were not my bosses!

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